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I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.

Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?

Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!

Minsky's Second Law: Don't just do something. Stand there.

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.

When ideas fail, words come in very handy.

After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.

Object-oriented programming is a style of programming designed to teach students about stacks.

Incrementing C by 1 is not enough to make a good object-oriented language.

The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.

Imitation is the sincerest form of television.

If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.

When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, 'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?

I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.

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