There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.

I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.

Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.

The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.

Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.

Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.

Raymond's Law of Software: Given a sufficiently large number of eyeballs, all bugs are shallow.

Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'

Yes, I'm fat, but you're ugly and I can go on a diet.

Programming is one of the most difficult branches of applied mathematics; the poorer mathematicians had better remain pure mathematicians.

The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C', the idea must be feasible.

Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains.

I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.

Real life is that big, high-res, high-color screen saver behind all the windows.

The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.

Write a wise word and your name will live forever.

Democracy is where you can say what you think even if you don't think.

The Bible was a consolation to a fellow alone in the old cell. The lovely thin paper with a bit of matress stuffing in it, if you could get a match, was as good a smoke as I ever tasted.

If you give a man a fish, he will eat for today. If you teach him to fish, he'll understand why some people think golf is exciting.

A picture is worth a thousand words (which is why it takes a thousand times longer to load...)