If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.

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The only one listening to both sides of an argument is the neighbor in the next apartment

When I am dead, I hope it may be said: 'His sins were scarlet but his books were read.

A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done.

That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.

The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.

It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it.

Testing proves the presence, not the absence, of bugs.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something.

I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.

I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.

> > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once...

Chaos Theory is a new theory invented by scientists panicked by the thought that the public were beginning to understand the old ones.

The only way to combat criminals is by not voting for them.

An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered.

Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.

I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.

Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.