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Everything that can be invented has been invented.

Object-oriented programming is an exceptionally bad idea which could only have originated in California.

Never test for an error condition you don't know how to handle.

I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!

Opportunities multiply as they are seized.

They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.

The worst crimes were dared by a few, willed by more and tolerated by all.

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, 'Why god? Why me?' and the thundering voice of God answered, 'There's just something about you that pisses me off.'

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.

Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost.

For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

Many a man's reputation would not know his character if they met on the street.

Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.

A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.