He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.

Before C++ we had to code all of our bugs by hand; now we inherit them.

Experience is what you get when you were expecting something else.

The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents.

It's the liberal bias. The press is liberally biased to the right.

A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.

In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.

I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.

In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear.

Elegance is not a dispensable luxury but a factor that decides between success and failure.

War is not the continuation of politics with different means, it is the greatest mass-crime perpetrated on the community of man.

Linux is like living in a teepee. No Windows, no Gates, Apache in house.

After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.

If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens?

I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.

If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough.

USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.

Ketchup left overnight on dinner plates has a longer half-life than radioactive waste.

I must confess, I was born at a very early age.

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.