Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is perhaps the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other.

It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one's doubts.

Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls and they tell you it's because they're such beautiful animals. I think my wife is beautiful, but I only have photographs of her on the wall.

Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.

The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim.

If you can read this you're not aiming in the right direction.

Java, the best argument for Smalltalk since C++.

Quoting Coulter is kind of like quoting Joe McCarthy; no doubt it does well when you're pandering to a group of like-minded hate mongerers, but it earns you a well-deserved reputation as a vicious, mean-spirited airhead and intellecual lightweight in more analytical and dispassionate circles.

Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.

Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they're eating sandwiches.

There are many kinds of people in the world. Are you one of them?

Just because bulldozers are used to build highways doesn't mean bulldozers are the best way to travel on a highway.

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The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead.

The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.

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If FORTRAN has been called an infantile disorder, then PL/I must be classified as a fatal disease.

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Ketchup left overnight on dinner plates has a longer half-life than radioactive waste.

When the rich think about the poor, they have poor ideas.